Mom always told me not to swear.  Those nasty words felt so delightfully naughty coming out of my mouth, so of course I thought she was depriving me of a scandalous pleasure.  Then, I realized those "bad" words were crutches.  I tended to use them instead of choosing words that accurately described what I was feeling.  But they were so easy to use!  Breaking the habit of using those four letter words was rough, but worth it.  She was right when she told me, "Watch your mouth!"  I still have to, today.  I have to "use my words" –  the helpful ones!!

I see I'm not the only one who struggles.  I'm going to add another horrible word to the list of forbidden four-letter words you already know:


That one word will paralyze you and me more than any other.  Not only are we not fully expressing what's going on inside our heads when we use it, but we are programming ourselves for failure.  NO WAY can we speak ideas into existence – we're not God, after all – but we can guarantee more positive experiences when we are more expectant in our speech.  For instance, if a father tells his son he is stupid and will never amount to anything, how do you think that boy will feel about himself as he grows up?  He is more likely to have trouble in all areas.  Contrast the dad who wisely points out his boy's good points and encourages him.  That son is very likely to succeed in what he does in life.

By saying we can't do something, we are acting like a negative parent to ourselves.  That's verbalizing "stinking thinking", as my Daddy would say.  Far better to "use our words" and describe the true issue.  For instance, try saying, "I'm having trouble with ____________".  Then the expectation of ourselves is that we will have to work a little harder to complete whatever task is at hand, but no doubt as to the outcome is introduced.  On the contrary, we've expressed an unspoken assumption that we WILL make whatever it is, happen!

So watch YOUR mouth too!!  Be kind to yourself.  You are your own best friend, after all, and if you encourage yourself instead slathering on the negative self-talk, your attitude and production will improve.  You CAN do it!!!


  • Join us for:
    • TONIGHT’s BRIDGE dance at the Downers Sand Club Bar & Grill, from 7 – 11 pm ($10 with 1 hour of Beginner lessons, $7 for dancing only).  We return here on SATURDAY, DECEMBER 2nd
    • This TUESDAY’s dance at the Wheaton VFW, 0N731 Papworth St., from 7 – 10 pm ($7)
    • The Upcoming Events page for more details on dances!!
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  • About 15 in-person classes per week are offered by the Dance With Janet team; take your pick!  Choose a level most comfortable for you (Beginner 1 or 2 or Intermediate 1 or 2) and a location near you at
  • The 2019 Dance With Janet Cruise has been finalized and promises to be the BEST one yet!  At only $80/night (including lodging, all-you-can-eat food, taxes & port charges, and visits to the A-B-C Islands), it can’t be beat in price OR destinations!! Catch all the details at; Harlan is accepting reservations already!

See you on the dance floor – you are loved!!

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