My daughter Jessa was on the diving team in college; that’s her soaring off the diving board.  Talk about graceful!!  While diving, she felt very much “on display” and asked me how I deal with that feeling.  My answer to her was, “Who’s looking at you?  No one.  No one looks at me either.”  Of course she stared at me like I should be institutionalized.  She replied, “Mom, you teach all the time.  Of course people look at you.  And I am standing half naked alone on a board 10 meters in the air and the room is silent, waiting for me to dive.  OF COURSE they are looking at me!!!”
I concede that she’s right on both counts.  I deal with that feeling of being on display with denial, which is what I suggested to her.  I’ve convinced myself that no one looks at me.  Sounds crazy (that’s what Jessa said, anyway) but it works.  If I acknowledged that people are watching me, I’d have stage fright so badly that I’d be unable to do what I do.
Now that you’ve had your eye roll for the day, time to make the short-and-sweet point.  My response to the truth doesn’t change the truth:  people ARE looking at me.  And Jessa.  And people are looking at YOU.  What we do and how we live matters.  So take care…and make sure that what you do reflects how you really want to BE and who you really ARE.  Live the way you want to be seen…because that’s what’s happening anyway.
See you on the dance floor!

Janet Kruse

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